Generational Generosity: On Taking One for the Team

February 8, 2019

An abstract painting of a woman with several extra limbs and a skull.
Reading Time: 7 minutes

“Seeds sown by parents will germinate and grow in the hearts of their
children.” (Jaana Uolamo)

We all have experiences, which we may label as “problems,” and wonder what we’ve done to deserve it. But what if we looked at the situation from a different perspective, asking what we are learning from the experiences? Would they then be solutions?

Ancestral cords connect us to both our maternal and paternal ancestors. Contained within the ancestral cords are information and energy concerning our ancestors’ experiences, wisdom, knowledge and also their problems, trauma and illnesses. One could view ancestral cords as being energetic DNA, the stuff we are made of in our current physical form. Through my work with ancestral healing I have observed that very often what a client may interpret as a past-life experience may indeed be a shadow from an ancestral experience. A problem or trauma that has a big impact will leave a footprint on the family soul and can be felt for up to six or even eight generations. It is my belief that when we prepare to incarnate, we choose a family that has a similar energy configuration that matches the challenges we wish to overcome or lessons we wish to learn. There appears to be great correlation between our past-life experiences and those of our ancestors. In ancestral healing, I discover the client’s theme and challenge.

An abstract painting of a woman with several extra limbs and a skull.

“Self-Scarifice” by Anita Wexler

Marie (not her real name) had a problem. She enjoyed red wine. It was becoming a habit of three bottles a day. It was not only affecting her purse, it was affecting her relationship with her man, her relationship with her children and her work as a Managing Director of a haulage company. She came across my service on Facebook and contacted me, before registering for ancestral healing and my online course.

Working with me, Marie discovered that her heavy drinking was linked to an ancestral shadow of addiction going back eight generations. She also had a depleted solar plexus chakra (manipura). Your solar plexus is your internal Sun, power and ego center. It’s your warrior or hero self.

Someone with a healthy solar plexus stands up for themselves and comes across as an assertive, confident individual. They are a leader who attracts respect and fairness. Why? Because they get angry to the right degree, at the right time, with the right person. They don’t let people walk over them, or their loved ones. They say no to mistreatment and stand by their decisions. As humans, we need to feel useful and have a something to “fight for,” otherwise we turn on ourselves and become self-critical, which is what had happened to Marie. She was burning up inside with suppressed creativity and ideas. The longer she procrastinated, the more her self-esteem went down.

Alcoholism is a very natural reaction to feeling powerless in modern society. Marie felt out of control (e.g. believing that she had to work for a living, or put up with relationships that she did not like), she was overanalyzing and storing her feelings, instead of moving through blocks. This created anxiety, which she tried to relieve through alcohol.

Marie said:

“I found quite a lot has shifted since the last ancestral clearing you did, mainly the alcoholism, which is a breakthrough as I’ve not had the desire to touch another drop since. I’m embracing my inner child more and find that she doesn’t really appear to often. I’ve also found that when there’s conflict I can usually look it from another perspective and then succinctly get my point of view across. Because of my problem and then finding out the root causes, I have had a huge shift in my life during the last three months which was helped massively by the clearing you did for me and the life tools you gave me plus the online program, so a massive thank you. I’m also loving the daily meditations.”

Jane (not her real name) had a “problem.” Her house was a pigsty. There was so much stuff that she couldn’t even find a place to sit down. She had a fridge full of food more than a year old. Clothing and other stuff piled up all the way to the ceiling. She was a compulsive hoarder. The rooms in her home had lost their function. Jane had an ancestral shadow of betrayal and abandonment going back six generations. She was grieving over losses that had occurred in her life and she had basically given up on people and life in general. She cared more about her coffee table covered in old magazines and clutter than loved ones. She had attached her affections to things that had no value, some of which were unsanitary. She had adjusted her life around her distorted thinking. Chaos and dysfunction had become her normal.

Jane said:

“I was in a very dark place and my house was a mess and wanted to spend more time out of it than in it. Heather helped me set a goal to clear the clutter by a specific date on the calendar. After doing ancestral clearing, she sent me tasks each week and it was up to me to comply to them or not…I have succeeded in turning my life around, I now have a more positive frame of mind and enjoy being at home. Thank you so much Heather for all your support and guidance.”

It is of utmost importance that ancestral cords are approached with deep respect. There is no such thing as a “bad” ancestor or one that needs to be excluded; in fact, exclusion only seeks to make matters worse, for whatever is excluded in one generation, will simply be resurface in another. If an ancestor was made the black sheep of the family, and never escapes their designation, then someone else will fill that gap and take on that role in a later generation.

It is through the influence of ancestral cords and other relational cords that adopted children can express the characteristics and personality traits of their biological family, even when separated at birth. Cords carry energy and with it, information: a hologram of the current physical life. Adopted children will manifest their lives in a way that often expresses the inherited hologram in astounding ways. Similarly a child born as a result of IVF, where sperm is taken from an anonymous donor, the child will have both ancestral and relational cords to the biological father and his ancestors.

Many of the events that affected our ancestors can be felt as if they are own. Sometimes this can lead us to look for stories that fit our deeper feelings. When we approach psychotherapy and the therapist or healer does not have the knowledge or awareness of the influence of the ancestral shadows, then we can be assisted in creating stories and reconstructing memories from childhood in order to fit with the feeling. However, if such feelings, whether they be subtle or powerful, are being transmitted to us through ancestral cords, then no matter what story we create, the issue will not be resolved in totality.

So what kinds of events have an impact on the ancestral field and can influence us from our ancestors?

Notable events:

  • Wars
  • Famine
  • Slavery
  • Genocide
  • Murder
  • Rape

A client may or may not be aware of their family history. I work with their “higher self” and a number of charts, where I am shown the relevant programs running on their internal hard drive or subconscious. It is important to be aware that when you have the child of immigrants in your presence, that immigration is more often than not away from something, rather than going toward a new country. Many immigrants left religious and political oppression and tragedies known to bequeath ancestral baggage.

Some Brief Examples

May (not her real name) was a woman who came to me for ancestral healing because she felt a deep and unknown sadness. She was 46 at the time, unmarried and had rarely felt joyful in her life. As the ancestral work began we discovered that her ancestors had been on slave ships on their way to the new world. We sensed a female who was in deep grief as many on the ship had died of disease and maltreatment. The client began to cry and let go of the sadness that felt overwhelming. After the clearing work was complete she felt great relief and could see that through living her life more fully she would bring relief to her ancestor(s). We worked together over an extended period of time to clear everything that had been in her way and had kept her stuck. She realized what she had learnt through this “problem” and embraced the solution with life tools to make the most out of her life.

Although Julie (not her real name) had made lots of money, she went bankrupt several times, and had two brothers who’d done the same thing, over and over again. She/they had an ancestral shadow of poverty. Doing the clearing work, we recognized the importance of her great-grandfather who was a plantation owner and owned a lot of land and many slaves. Originally a Native American tribe had been forcibly removed from the land in order to make way for this plantation. It became clear that she was trying to pay a penance for her immoral ancestors, ridding herself of all gain in order to in some way pay back the ill-gotten gain within her family. All the energies attached to this were cleared in her akashic records and we worked together to bring her to a place where she felt peace of mind and realized what was important in life, rather than chasing money.

Anne (not her real name) was born in Germany. She was extremely thin and whatever she ate, she couldn’t gain weight. This was affecting her health and vitality. Also, she was in an abusive relationship. Her ancestral shadow was violence going back two generations. Towards the end of WWII, her grandfather who was only a young man of about eighteen years was drafted into the German army and was placed on the watchtower in Auschwitz as a guard. What transpired is that she was living out what her grandfather had seen in Auschwitz: emaciated and thin people who felt worthless.

Our loyalty to our family or clan knows almost no bounds, even when we claim to have little to no relationship with it. Unconscious and hidden loyalties can surface during ancestral healing. Knowingly or unknowingly, we agreed to inherit ancestral shadows.

We often deny ourselves the blessings of life when others within our family system and ancestry have suffered, have lost much, or have died young. It takes a child of great courage to be happier than their parents.

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