You cannot separate freedom from peace. You cannot separate peace from freedom. When you have freedom you will have peace and when you have peace you will have freedom!
We often search for freedom. Unfortunately we do not have an understanding of what freedom is and what it means. The term freedom is tangible and like all significant words it has multiple levels to it.
How is freedom measured? Well that’s subjective to each individual. However, there is the idea of measuring “circumstances” from a scale of zero to ten, but is this real? Ask yourself, now. From a scale of zero to ten, what is your freedom level? Next ask yourself from what are you seeking freedom.
We want freedom and yet we don’t know that from which we want to be freed! Generally, everyday freedom relates to the mind, the body, the thoughts, the feelings, the emotions we have and that little old chestnut: the past.
When we get stuck in the past we usually don’t realize it. We relive the same story again and again. You end up dating the same guy or girl, just in a different package. This is because we subconsciously hold onto the previous relationships we have had: the good, the bad and the ugly—the whole story. The same rule applies to jobs and friends.
“Life skills” is not a subject we get taught! As far as I remember we had personal studies as a subject, but I don’t remember being taught about the reality of life. I think it was about the “birds and the bees”. Then from school, to college, college to university. Then from graduation to careers/jobs and then another level of reality surfaces: the politics, the bullies, the unhappiness, the jealously, the tell-tales, the snides, the sneaks and the numpties.
We go through significant changes in life—e.g., break-ups, deaths, illnesses—and we stumble and bumble around, hoping for the best, like the blind leading the blind, because no one told us. Its okay to let go and be free of this trauma and move on with grace.
Inside you feel lost and broken and you want to be free, because you realize that you didn’t want this life for yourself. You wanted something different. You may instead deny your true feelings, because you don’t want “rock the boat”—and what will people say? What will family say?
Life passes by and we are still where we were ten, twenty, thirty years ago. Those suppressed feelings/emotions slowly start to eat you up and come out in the form of illnesses, erratic/reactive/angry behavior.
Erratic: Doing things that have no meaning or seeking attention
Reactive: Reacting to any minor/major thing, that actually has no significance or value
Anger: Just being nasty, mean, trouble-causing and so on
One of the underlining roots to this is denial: denial to yourself, denial to the situation you are in, or holding onto something that has no value whatsoever, because it no longer exists!
Then you are desperate to be freed from the pain and sometimes, you chose not to be freed because you think that blockage is all you have and if that’s gone you will fall to pieces.
For years I have always been chasing freedom. Up until recent years, I didn’t actually know what I was chasing. I don’t really follow religion or culture (I freed myself from that conditioning). I’m free to travel, financially abundant, and I have freedom in regard to my movements and speech.
Then I realized I needed to be free from my own mind, the negative thoughts, the anger, the vengeance, the vengeance which I thought was justice. And trust me, there is a fine line between justice and vengeance.
Sometimes my body would feel as if it were trapped in chains and even now, in my stomach/intestines there is a block which I am working to free. I let the past control me: the good and bad memories/experiences, re-living the same situation again and again until I learned.
The law of karma will show you the same situation until you learn, like “Groundhog Day”. Each time the situation can be worse or slightly better. It depends on your ability to learn.
Through my spiritual studies I learned that the heart and soul are desperate to be freed—not the conditioned you, not the black, white, brown, pink you, not the Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Muslim you, but the true you! You, the heart and soul, the pure you, the gentle you, dances to the tune of a blissful life.
When you’re on a spiritual journey, lots of deep-rooted emotions, feelings, and desires want to be free! A good way to free them is by writing or speaking to yourself aloud or seek some type of therapy. Most of the time all these all they want is acknowledgment and to be recognized.
You owe it to yourself to be true to yourself. If not you who will be? Why put that expectancy on another person? Why are giving your power away? You can’t expect someone else to be true to you when you are not true to you! In this situation you have to be the brave and courageous one, the slayer. Slaying your inner demons allows you to take back your power, because you deserve your freedom.
Meditate. Dance. Pray. Be Mindful of yourself, acknowledging your emotions, remembering that the past is the past and that you are present and have a choice.
Be honest and don’t follow the crowd unless you agree with it. Release your conditioning. If so-and-so is racist or prejudice ask yourself why you are following suit. If someone is being bullied at school, home, or work, don’t ignore it. Acknowledge it at least because the same could happen to you and you wouldn’t like being ignored.
The people who want to see you fall are the people who will see you rise from the ashes like a Phoenix.
Escaping Office Politics
I can help others who are in the same position and give them comfort that they’re not alone and empower them to make the necessary changes and be free, because they deserve to be free of their demons and past experiences.
On June 7th, 2016 I had a major breakthrough in all areas of my life: the suffering, the survival, the lack of self value and respect.
Now the world is full of “stupidity”: lying, telling tales, not getting the facts right, not getting clarity and simply not understanding actions’ consequences.
I am not here to make my former employer look bad. That is not my intention at all, However there was an “idiot” who went and told some senior person at my office that I am writing about them and the organization. So I was confronted about this and was going to be investigated like a common criminal because apparently I violated some social media policy.
I don’t understand how they established that I violated their social media policy (that only they know) because the names and the organization weren’t mentioned. People have written far more detailed malicious things than me and my writings aren’t even malicious. I wrote about recovery and empowerment!
Yes, people can be ridiculous.
Going back to the fateful day in June, I got an e-mail, not even a verbal conversation. I was told that I was being investigated, I read it and was flummoxed. I went outside for my lunchtime walk, looked at the sky and asked God for guidance.
I went back to office, saw the numpty manager and said I am leaving. He was shocked. I explained that I had had enough and wouldn’t be coming back. He asked if it was because he sent me that e-mail. I confirmed. My writings about my life, how could they have affected this organization? He couldn’t give me a straight answer, because he hadn’t even read my blog. He just listened to someone else and made a fool out of himself.
I had already sniffed the deceit the week before and suspected something was not right; and oh, what a blessing in disguise. I went back to my desk, collected my stuff and said “goodbye, adios, hasta la vista, baby” and walked out, with my head held high, my dignity and self-respect intact.
In my entire life this is the best decision I have ever made! Because I finally understood I had a choice, I chose to not be wrongly accused, to not be bullied, to not to be the victim, not to fall to pieces, because I wanted to be free of my own past, chains, and drama. I understood that I was worth more and allowed God to take the wheel.
My karmic account has been settled and balanced a hundredfold! I changed me present and future, by choosing the right path for me! I am truly grateful for the experience and the people who caused it. They are forgiven. I understand how I got there, learned and moved on!
I deserve so much better: sensible, compassionate people. Trust me, these people didn’t expect me to walk out. For some strange reason they thought I was going to sit there and be humiliated.
I understand that I was being tested on multiple levels by God/Source/Universe regarding my authenticity and integrity vis-à-vis my writings, attachment to the job, titles, money. I passed the test and restored balance in my life.
My faith and trust in God has strengthened. Yes, I sometimes wondered when I would get another job. Fortunately, I did soon after and it is much better—aligning with my values it is an organization that wants to make a difference! Its employees are good people and are cooperative.
Back to the day, on the way home, I texted one of my sisters to tell her that I’d left, then my cousin and flatmate. They all said that I’d done the right thing. The latter has subsequently noticed a big difference in me: my aura and soul. Also, the spirit of my dad, granddad and dad’s cousin came to see me, to tell me how proud they were of my decision and strength!
As the weeks passed, I met my friends and told them what had happened and all of them were proud of me, saying that I did the right thing, refusing to sit there and have my dignity taken away from you.
A few people have asked me why I write so openly. If I didn’t write the truth, how could I help people? The people who read my writings have or are experiencing the same obstacles in life as I once did. Yes, there are people out there who would manipulate my worrds and me and yes, they have tried. However, I know myself and my mind, so I put a stop to it immediately.
Through all the therapies I have had in life I have learnt how people can twist things. You say one thing and they hear something else, put words in your mouth and so on. Predators/manipulators are out there, listening to every word you say or write so that they can use them against you. But that’s their path, not yours.
For the most part this has been liberating. I’m more at peace and forgive myself and the people involved.
My freedom “issue” was around choice. I had never given myself proper choices. I didn’t understand what choice meant.
We end up losing choices through our conditioning through religion, culture and fear! I remember one mentor saying to me, “Rehila you have a choice and never let anyone take your choice and dignity away from you”. On this occasion I chose!
If you cannot help anyone, don’t harm anyone either, because the law of karma will eat you alive!