A core wound is something that our souls carry throughout our re-incarnation, and the ones that brought all of us back here on this planet. In other words, we are here today because they are not yet healed.
Most of our wounds are over a thousand years old. About a thousand years ago, we were so badly hurt that the pain was unbearable, so we decided to check-out. We started suppressing our pain (emotions and feelings).
Our pain creates negative Karma and keeps us in the cycle forever more. If we ever want to put a stop to it we need to liberate ourselves from the prison of pain. And to do that, we must be willing to confront our own pain.
This is what spiritual healing is all about.
How to Know Your Core Wound
So, how do we know what our wound is? Consider these three areas:
- A traumatic experience before age three
- Romantic relationship and patterns
- Discomfort in an area of life
These can tell mostly what your core wounds are.
A Traumatic Experience before Three
Let’s say, before we were born into this world, we planned and chose everything very carefully for our soul’s expansion and progression, including healing pain. Who knows? It’s hypothetical.
I call it a “default setting”.
Imagine we chose which country and parents to be born to and, they (the environment and people), did perfect jobs of setting up our default modes.
In most cases, the default setting was done before the age of three and if not, by the age of five. So, it’s important to know what you experienced emotionally around that age to know your wounds.
I know a woman who experienced a “mini-fast” when she was around two. She cried aloud for a long time because she was hungry, but there was no one around to feed her when she needed them.
This small experience was painful enough for her to set up and form a fear of starvation and it became the theme of her life. This is the core wound that her soul is carrying. So, she needed to experience something like that to set up the default at some point in her early life.
As an adult, she suffered from an eating disorder for many years and wondered why nothing worked. It was because she didn’t remember what had happened to her when she was two. She was totally unaware of it.
She probably inherited this pattern somewhere from her former lives and this energy remains with her until she heals her wound of fear of starvation and being abandoned.
When she realized this, a huge part of her unconscious was released and liberated into the light of consciousness. She must give up eating at some point and allow herself to feel and endure the fear of starvation. It will transcend the pain and heal the wound.
Core wounds tend to manifest in forms of addictions, so if you take a closer look at your addiction(s) to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, gambling, eating, you will learn what your wound is.
Talking about myself, I was a rather heavy nicotine addict for about twenty years. I smoked cigarettes in avoidance of feeling the emptiness within. I discovered my core wounds when I quit smoking for the n’th time. This time, I allowed myself to confront the discomfort.
I sat alone and tuned into the physical sensations when I wanted to smoke again. I let the feelings speak. It was a fear of being alone and abandoned. These are my core wounds.
My default setting was done when I was a year old when my younger sister was born. I was taken away from my mum for one month. And it was enough for me to set up my life’s theme.
Most probably, I carried this pattern from my history of re-incarnation. This life has been given to me to heal them.
I will talk about how to heal core wounds now. The only remedy is to feel the pain and “be present” with it. The two qualities the present moment holds, unconditional love and genuine compassion, are the ones that heal everything.
So, every time I feel like smoking again, I remind myself to be present with the agitation:
- I don’t want to be alone
- I don’t want to be abandoned
- I want to hold onto something
I just let my inner child that I am with them and they are not alone.
Romantic Relationship and Patterns
We repeat the same energetic patterns that we learned with our parents in our romantic relationships; no exceptions, unless we are healed to some extent. The learned patterns are part of the default setting. In other words, that’s the negative Karma.
There is no coincidence that people who have alcoholic parent(s) tend to have partners with the same problem. People who have parent(s) with money issues tend to have partners who have similar issues.
When you start seeing the same patterns repeating in your relationship, that is where your core wounds are.
Some common cases are:
- Sense of guilt
- Sense of unworthiness
- Sense of selflessness
Those people carry this non-serving energy from past lives and are still unconsciously trying to compensate. They need someone with problems. It’s unconscious. Some cases we call co-dependency. Underneath, there are senses of guilt or unworthiness.
Again, the only remedy is to confront the pain. You must be willing to look deeper into your psyche and see what energetic pattern you have that is repeating in your romantic relationship. When you see the pattern, cognitively understand it and change it.
The patterns will repeat unless they are healed. We could say that every relationship has a purpose for healing our wounds and pain. When the healing is done, the relationship would dissolve because the primary purpose of every relationship is to heal souls.
Discomfort in an Area of Life
Examine your life and see what area(s) you still have the most discomfort:
- Do you keep encountering accidents or physical illness all the time?
- Are there people who give you a hard time?
- Do you keep yourself busy all the time?
- If so why?
If you keep encountering racist issues in your life, there is a racism inside you that is not healed. If you have a considerable amount of debt, most probably you still have a ‘value’ issue about yourself that is not healed yet.
We keep attracting problems that are closely related to our wounds. So, look carefully into your life and write down the most repeated experiences and emotional signatures to help you learn what they are.
These indicate the areas where you still need more love and caring for yourself.
Healing and Integration
When you discover your core wounds a huge part of the healing is already done. When you allow yourself to feel and cognitively understand the wound, it will be healed and transcended.
- Discover core wounds
- Feel the pain (emotions)
- Cognitively understand the wounds
- Transcend and integration takes place
Any sub-personality that remained unhealed will be integrated. The separation will be integrated, and you will be one step closer to your whole-self.