How often do you put your happiness and self-worth in the hands of others? Do you even realize when you’re doing it?
If you constantly seek validation from others, as your sense of achievement is totally built upon others’ opinions, you only feel good about yourself when you receive recognition from others; otherwise, you keep on fearing that you are not good enough (NGE).
How often have you felt let down by other people when you don’t meet their expectations and needs?
You think you can never do anything right and you feel worthless when people criticize or act harshly to you. So you spend time overthinking, and overanalyzing a situation in your head, wasting energy dwelling on others whom you can’t control.
Let me tell you something: no one else can make you happy. Only you can bring your happiness. If even you are unable or unwilling to center yourself, how can you possibly expect others to?
The truth is, you can’t look externally for your self-validation because that means you completely forego your power, sense of control, and opportunities to make decisions on your own, allowing others to take you for granted, step over you, take advantage of you, and in some worse cases even abuse you.
Your self-worth, self-value, and self-respect have to come from you; because self-love is rooted inside you, nothing can ever disturb it, and nobody can ever take it away from you.
Taking the Good with the Bad
Got a job promotion? Well done YOU. No, its wasn’t luck, you did that. You earned it and you deserved it since you’re worthy.
Had a “bad” day because someone was mean to you? Was that just a moment of feeling low because someone gave you negative feelings, or did you blow it out of proportion and allow that brief moment to ruin your day because you gave away the right to feel good?
From your success or even failures, to your health or illness, to your happiness or sadness, all of these come from one thing and one thing only: you.
No matter what, you have to hold yourself accountable. Taking responsibility for your life, practicing accountability, is the only path toward real transformation.
Here’s the loophole: when life doesn’t go as planned or as you had hoped, you have a choice. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself, licking your wounds. No one is going to give you your dream job, your dream life, and your desired health if you don’t yourself act on pursuing such goals. Again, is anyone else obligated to manifest them for you?
Only you can create a future befitting you, and the sooner you realize this the better.
Life isn’t going to be all warm, cozy cuddles; sorry, that’s just now how it is, not since human history began anyway. You can’t change that, but you can choose how you want to feel about it. This determines how you live this life: as a victim or a victor.
It all begins with shifting how you label your identity, skirting victimization. This is how is you can put an end to the endlessly enduring cycle of pain and misery.
The task to ensure that your are in control, that you are managing your own self-worth, that you’re your own inner boss running the show, that you are the only one validating yourself, is to reinforce an improved mindset.
The way to do this is to plant positive messages into your subconscious so you can become empowered and motivated, to lead the life you want, to be the supervising manager of your life.
There are many tools available to start this process right now. Caring Nature’s Emotional Intelligence Coaches can support you on this journey. We’ve helped many others have healing breakthroughs, reaching beyond that which they can envision.
That said, if you’re not willing to go deep into the work then maybe the benefits aren’t for you. That’s right, change work is work. It’s not for those who prefer to complain about how life is unfair, who’d rather choose to stay where they are in life than move forward.
Real change work happens when you’re willing and ready to jump into action. Can’t wait to begin turning aspirations into plans, and plans into outcomes? If that’s you, we want to hear from you! You can schedule a consultation with one of our Emotional Intelligence Coaches at Caring Nature to get started.